Wednesday, October 13, 2010
i suck.
poor blog.
ok.....
milo is 5 months! he has 2 teeth that just poked through...so lots of high pitched pterodactyl sounds fill the house. he also stopped sleeping through the night for about a week...which was awesome. what else....he is amazing and a joy and very noisy.
enough about him....let's talk about me. i had a root canal. then my brother in law came to stay with us for a month. i also have a broken bottomless stomach. i am never full and always want to binge on crap. this may sound cute or fun...but it is gross and a bit horrifying....even for me. i think my husband has actually started hiding food from me...because i am like a vulture and will pick the pantry clean. i can eat an entire bag of chocolate covered pretzels in 5 minutes. ready.....go!
(milo has just reached a new level of scream. it is now so high pitched it is silent and all the dogs in the neighborhood are freaking the fuck out and my ears are bleeding)
last thing before i go....
the bumbo seat....you know where it says something like...don't put on elevated surfaces.....yeah...follow that advice. even if you are right there. even if it is in the center of the island in the kitchen while you are making a delicious fall soup. even if you are talking to the baby about safe things and soft surfaces.....your baby could suddenly...with no warning and no previous escape attempts....arch his back, fling himself out, flip in the air and land on the FLOOR. then there will be silence. then a horrible scream and you will cry and examine every inch of your baby looking for broken things or blood or brain injuries. it will be all your fault.
just don't do it. keep it on the nice soft floor....surrounded by blankets, foam and bubble wrap.
k bye!
ok.....
milo is 5 months! he has 2 teeth that just poked through...so lots of high pitched pterodactyl sounds fill the house. he also stopped sleeping through the night for about a week...which was awesome. what else....he is amazing and a joy and very noisy.
enough about him....let's talk about me. i had a root canal. then my brother in law came to stay with us for a month. i also have a broken bottomless stomach. i am never full and always want to binge on crap. this may sound cute or fun...but it is gross and a bit horrifying....even for me. i think my husband has actually started hiding food from me...because i am like a vulture and will pick the pantry clean. i can eat an entire bag of chocolate covered pretzels in 5 minutes. ready.....go!
(milo has just reached a new level of scream. it is now so high pitched it is silent and all the dogs in the neighborhood are freaking the fuck out and my ears are bleeding)
last thing before i go....
the bumbo seat....you know where it says something like...don't put on elevated surfaces.....yeah...follow that advice. even if you are right there. even if it is in the center of the island in the kitchen while you are making a delicious fall soup. even if you are talking to the baby about safe things and soft surfaces.....your baby could suddenly...with no warning and no previous escape attempts....arch his back, fling himself out, flip in the air and land on the FLOOR. then there will be silence. then a horrible scream and you will cry and examine every inch of your baby looking for broken things or blood or brain injuries. it will be all your fault.
just don't do it. keep it on the nice soft floor....surrounded by blankets, foam and bubble wrap.
k bye!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Nap
Just poured myself a celebratory second cup of coffee and am blogging in a silent house because the boy is napping in his crib. Why is this a big deal, you ask? Doesn't he always nap? Well, here is the deal. Milo naps, yes. Milo needs lots of rocking, shushing, back rubbing, nursing....and most importantly, Milo prefers to nap in our bed, with me beside him. Yes, i know this is my own damn fault. Yes, I know I am a lousy mom and dumb and doing everything wrong. Yes I know all the damage caused by attachment parenting and I know those kids that are sleep trained, weaned, take pacifiers, ride in strollers, sit in disposable diapers, get 13 vaccines at once and NAP by themselves are all going to be doctors and lawyers and Milo will be cleaning toilets begging for his mom to rub his back. Yes, yes, yes. I know!!! Ok.....so anyway......today, I put him down in his crib.....awake.....turned on his lil music elephant......left the room.....and HOLY shit people!! He is asleep! Don't worry, he is in a crib with bumpers (hazard!) toys (not toys! He could suffocate!) a cute accent pillow ( what?! Gasp!) blankets, razorblades, plastic bags, gasoline, lighters, and no, he is not swaddled in some trendy swaddling bullshit sack. Yes, I am still a failure of a mom, a silly hippy who smells like falafel, breastfeeds in public and refuses to use Johnson& johnson products.
I wish there was someone here to give me a high five.
I wish there was someone here to give me a high five.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
3 months
Since I can't upload photos from my iPad to my blog (grrrrr)......please go here to see a couple 3 month photos:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/buttercream/4926952011/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/buttercream/4926952011/
Hello blog!
Oh hi poor neglected blog! I know I swore I wouldn't do exactly what I did...but that is life with an infant, I suppose. Well....an infant, and a move. And it is summer. And I find blogging on the iPad a pain in the ass. I know, enough excuses....
Moving with a baby during the hottest weekend of the summer.....pretty amazing. The universe has a funny way of saying "fuck you, Dana"....like I just went to Ikea and bought a couch and when I got home there was a coupon in the mailbox for $25 off at ikea if you spend over $250. Which I did.
I know it is incredibly selfish to think the universe cares enough about me to control when I get a coupon. This happens to be my main issue with religion. It all seems very selfish....like god would give a crap about me and my dinky little "problems".... That I would even assume he/she/it would hear my pleas for better weather or a safe flight or to find my missing fave t-shirt....even for my fathers health in the middle of cancer scare 2008, seems so completely silly when the earth has issues like mass rape/ murder/ genocide/ starvation/ war/ hate/ torture.....drought.... Fires......floods.....earthquakes....nevermind the fact that I simply find it hard to rationalize believing in the invisible...
Whoa!! I step away from blogging for a minute and look what happens! I need to focus.
So Milo is a baby with very immediate needs. He is very vocal about these needs. He also prefers being held, constant new things to look at, and will not take a bottle. He must nurse every couple hours, for at least a couple minutes or else his head will explode. He has blue eyes, loves water and bath time, hates carseats, and has a smile that has made me burst into tears a number of times. Oh boy does he make my heart grow daily.
I also have a new appreciation for my mother, who I would die without. Or at least I would be out of my noggin, babbling in the corner.... Or I would be shit faced drunk all the time. But no....thanks to my mom....I get stuff done...like shower weekly.
We still cosleep. Still love cloth diapers. We moved and I didn't have a nervous breakdown. I am madly in love with my husband, my dramatic, sassy little girl, my chubby thighed baby boy, my beautiful new house with a front porch, garden and nook, and really......life has never been so good.
Moving with a baby during the hottest weekend of the summer.....pretty amazing. The universe has a funny way of saying "fuck you, Dana"....like I just went to Ikea and bought a couch and when I got home there was a coupon in the mailbox for $25 off at ikea if you spend over $250. Which I did.
I know it is incredibly selfish to think the universe cares enough about me to control when I get a coupon. This happens to be my main issue with religion. It all seems very selfish....like god would give a crap about me and my dinky little "problems".... That I would even assume he/she/it would hear my pleas for better weather or a safe flight or to find my missing fave t-shirt....even for my fathers health in the middle of cancer scare 2008, seems so completely silly when the earth has issues like mass rape/ murder/ genocide/ starvation/ war/ hate/ torture.....drought.... Fires......floods.....earthquakes....nevermind the fact that I simply find it hard to rationalize believing in the invisible...
Whoa!! I step away from blogging for a minute and look what happens! I need to focus.
So Milo is a baby with very immediate needs. He is very vocal about these needs. He also prefers being held, constant new things to look at, and will not take a bottle. He must nurse every couple hours, for at least a couple minutes or else his head will explode. He has blue eyes, loves water and bath time, hates carseats, and has a smile that has made me burst into tears a number of times. Oh boy does he make my heart grow daily.
I also have a new appreciation for my mother, who I would die without. Or at least I would be out of my noggin, babbling in the corner.... Or I would be shit faced drunk all the time. But no....thanks to my mom....I get stuff done...like shower weekly.
We still cosleep. Still love cloth diapers. We moved and I didn't have a nervous breakdown. I am madly in love with my husband, my dramatic, sassy little girl, my chubby thighed baby boy, my beautiful new house with a front porch, garden and nook, and really......life has never been so good.
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