some things.

big things:

• we might buy a new house. this would require selling the one we have. this means i need to do some serious work involving a chainsaw and a dump truck to remove the extreme amount of devil weeds in the yard to aid in "curb appeal". i should also mention that our house is 70's mustard yellow with brown, yes BROWN, shutters and a metal awning over the front door. so it needs paint. um... metal awning. 70's. yellow. brown. weeds. i am going to try to not have a panic attack. but, oh! looking at real estate.......brings me so much joy!!! so exciting! i mean, it will also be so much work. but a new house! with more than ONE bathroom! i would feel like a queen!

• i think i decided today that i am not going to take a pregnancy test ever again unless i am at least one week late for my period. i know this sounds crazy. and i know you are doubting me....because you should....i am doubting me as i write this. but....nonetheless.....that is my goal. one. week. late. my reason for this is i actually want to protect myself from...myself. if i don't know....i won't worry. i won't stress. i will be oblivious. i will be safe. and ignorance is bliss, my friends. i am really going to fail at this plan. but it is a fun goal, right?

• my husband was frustrated with me yesterday. he said i was being "mopey". this made me want to kick his teeth in. i told him that he was being insensitive and that it was going to take me more than 3 days to be back to my normal self. he told me he wanted me to "handle my depression in a more productive way".....like not showering or brushing my teeth and wearing pj's all day is unproductive? bah! men. after i explained to him that he was, at that moment, failing at being a supportive husband and that what i needed from him was comfort and affection and not him being critical or acting frustrated......he understood. he apologized. we snuggled. and i took a much needed bath. we both feel better today.
  

small things:

• i accidentally took my prenatal vitamin on an empty stomach. blaaaaarg.

• i was aggressively making the bed and flipped the comforter up with such haste that it hit the light fixture above the bed and it came crashing down. now we have a scary hole with exposed wires, spiders, monsters, squirrel nests, etc above the bed.
  

• don't you love it when you buy a new candle and then forget all about it until you are cleaning up before the in-laws show up and then you find it at the perfect moment because you can light it in the guest room and make it smell fresh? i love it when that happens.

• i had a pile of papers from a midwife under my bed.....from december....from before the miscarriage. it was all sorts of pregnancy information...nutrition stuff...and i pulled it out last week for the due date little wheel thing.....and left the pile on the floor. today i went to shove it all back under the bed and the dog had peed on it. all of it. i didn't scold her.... because i kind of wanted to pee on it too. she beat me to it.
  

• remember when i said i was going to be healthy? i haven't started yet. i am living off of cookies and iced lattes. i will start tomorrow. at least i am taking my vitamins.