i can't believe it has almost been 6 months. half a year. 24 weeks.
i get pretty emotional thinking about how brief this stage is...how in a blink my newborn turned to a babbling baby and i know in another blink he will be a toddler. i try to really enjoy these days....but he is changing before my eyes so fast...and i just love everything about him right now. well....almost everything. oh! let's make lists.
What i LOVE right now about Milo:
-the way he always reaches out to gently cup my face in his hands
-how he fits easily in my arms and on my lap
-he is not so heavy that i can't carry him around
-if i put him down on the floor with some toys he stays there and happily plays
-this list will get very long so lets move on to.....
What i DO NOT LOVE right now about Milo:
-biting while nursing
-scratching my face off with his tiny claw hands and bear trap fists
-those same fists in my hair, around earrings
I started giving him small amounts of Oat Cereal (rice cereal just makes me think of paste...not sure if oat is really much better, but it sounds better...right?) at 5 months. i mix it with a little warm water and some fruit/veggie puree. i have made applesauce, pears, sweet potatoes...and i also have bought some of the organic hippie baby food (no, i do not and WILL NOT use gerber, yes i know i am a crazy hippie....but seriously..GMI's? no thanks)....his favorite so far is "peach banana oatmeal" which is technically a stage 2 for 6 months and up. gasp! breaking rules! anyway, he is now pretty good at eating and most of it actually goes down his throat instead of back out and down his chin, into his hands, spread all over his face, table, clothes, me, my clothes...he even motor boated once after a huge bite....and it sprayed all OVER MY FACE. luckily, i wasn't wearing makeup and i was still in my pajamas i had been wearing for, oh 3 months, and so i just wiped it off with my shirt. WIN!
other glamorous things:
-i am not sure how it works, but i am at my pre-pregnancy weight and have been for awhile...but i have this huge, gross, jiggly, FAT, mass in my middle. this can't even be called a tummy. it is so far beyond a jiggly tummy. it is just so weird and unattractive and makes no sense. if i were to take a picture of just my middle and have you guess "how much does this woman weigh?" you would guess 250lbs. so i guess i must just have silly looking twig legs, average sized arms and head, and the torso of an elephant.
because of this, i thought i would try a fad diet. i am an all or nothing type of dieter. i don't do well with limitations or moderation. so i decided to try the caveman diet...cutting dairy, soy, corn, wheat, rice, sugar....so everything except meat, most veggies and fruit. and the meat is supposed to be all fancy grass fed, hormone free, free range, happy frolicking, live in the countryside at a spa before it is gently murdered.
This diet made me pretty angry....after about day 4. WHAT THE FUCK. i seriously do not understand how and why anyone would want to live like this. sure, as a cleanse....it was fine. BUT LIFE IS NOT WORTH LIVING WITHOUT: cheeseburgers, chocolate chip cookies, and butter. NOT WORTH LIVING. this realization was pretty profound. i will keep the weird chub loaf around my middle if it means i get to enjoy a hot chocolate and a sugar cookie. i refuse to "change my relationship with food" in order to be a cavewoman...and i get that maybe my body is supposed to be a machine and only needs fuel to survive while i am grunting and running from bears and trying to figure out fire....but guess what....I AM NOT A FUCKING CAVEWOMAN! i am a very, very, modern, butter loving fattie and i am OK WITH THAT!
after i failed the caveman diet i found myself in a funk for about a day. i did a lot of thinking and eating....and i have decided that i just need a makeover!! i need to wax my eyebrows because it has been...2 years? since my last wax. i am also going to get a crazy new haircut next week. crazy even for this bleached blond pixie girl. that's right....CRAZY.
i think part of my funk is this: i am getting old. things are not as cute anymore. where before i could go put on some hot heels and a fun dress and lip gloss and instantly feel better about myself after failing a fad diet....now i....well, i still try that but i look pretty silly. all the sudden i look like i am trying too hard. it feels sort of.....pathetic. so instead i will wax my eyebrows and get a shaggy mohawk.
i realize how this sounds. but believe me....it will work.