oh boy oh boy

i don't know...but i think conceiving a boy sounds like WAY more fun:


















what i will be doing later this month....assuming my period shows up by Wednesday:









so today i am 12 days past ovulation.
still expecting my period today or tomorrow. although i did have weird heartburn with a moment of slight nausea last night....but....i have been doing this for enough months now that nothing seems like a symptom anymore. i have had every single possible "symptom" and had the harsh realization that none of them mean pregnancy. and the month i DID get pregnant i had no symptoms at all except cramping on 9 dpo, implantation spotting on 10 dpo, and then i got the positive test on 11 dpo. my boobs got weird about 2 weeks later, and that is when the extreme sickness started as well.

after all these months i actually find myself more grounded. i went from being hyper aware of my body and spazzing out with hope every time i felt carsick or had gas...and now....now i know that sometimes i feel my uterus spasm. sometimes i get gas. sometimes i am tired. sometimes i am weepy and cry at 2pac songs. the only thing to really focus on and spaz out about....is a positive pregnancy test.

finally!

my husband just agreed to finally start REALLY TRYING!!!!! i am so excited.....and can't wait for the next cycle to get here!

it is funny...he said.....can you promise me a boy? and i said yes. i will give you an heir. but that means we actually have to pay attention and time everything right and not just "see what happens" like we have been...and um, of course it has not been working.

(btw we have been watching the Tudors....hence the "heir" talk.....and we both want a boy)


i am so thrilled and if you ever look at my FF chart link...you will see the difference of "really trying" and not really trying. look at the amount of sex in October!!! i mean seriously! i think we only missed 2 days out of the ENTIRE MONTH! and of course i got pregnant that way.

this will be the first cycle in a long time that i will actually be happy when my period shows up....so we can move on to the next one. this blog is ABOUT TO GET GOOD, people.

whoooohooooo!!!!!!

period dream

some people have positive pregnancy test dreams while trying to conceive. i have period dreams.

well....i did last night. woke up like "shit!" and then....after a couple moments....."oh sweet, it was only a dream"

i prefer the first week of the two week wait. it seems to go by faster and feels more promising.

i feel poopy. i have a headache and i am tired and crabby. i ate too much pizza and i feel gross and fat.

tomorrow will be 10 days past ovulation.....again. this means i will probably get my period on monday. and if i don't......you know what i will be doing on tuesday.

stupid chocolate craving

I just looked back through my blog archives. In May I posted about eating cake on 9 days past ovulation. In June I had five brownies on 8 days past ovulation.

Last night I made brownies...again. That was 7 days past ovulation. Today I am 8 days past and had a brownie for breakfast.

I wish I could remember if I baked anything chocolate when I was pregnant in November....because if I did, this wouldn't mean what it is seems to mean.


doh!

stupid PMS.

daydream nursery

i am 7 days past ovulation....and it is boring. so....to curb my boredom......here are some thoughts on my dream nursery....

this changes every few months.....just like my list of baby names.

i really like bright white clean nurseries. i like white or light blue walls, light wood accents and some splashes of cheerful color like turquoise or yellow or orange (so pretty much like the colors of this here blog). i want handmade quilts, baby animal art and bird and owl stuff. but not too themey or cute.....i don't want owl overload or anything.....but an owl lamp, perhaps.

i am pretty sure i want a white crib.

i like some modern stuff with touches of cozy cottage stuff.

here are some of my fave inspiration photos right now:

another day in July

i am still feeling great....as in i am not obsessing about symptoms or non symptoms and i am 5 days past ovulation. i am not going to be upset if nothing happens this month and will move on excitedly to next month (i kind of have a feeling about August).......my cycle is kind of weird this month....more like the timing is weird....i am going to have 2 cycles in July...meaning i already ovulated once on July 1st and then i will ovulate again at the end of July. 2 chances in 1 month! way to go, July!

My new approach to convince my husband to give it a "real" go next month will be this: i am going to be a bridesmaid in my best friends (since kindergarten!) wedding next July. so.....i would prefer to NOT BE HUGELY PREGNANT, in a bridesmaid dress, next July. I would prefer to have a baby in April or May and have at least 2 months to lose some of the weight.

see that? that sounds like a good plan, right? i think he should agree and jump on board, so to speak.

my period is due next Tuesday, July 14th. i am not going to test at all this cycle, unless my period is late. i have wasted hundreds of dollars on tests. it is gross to think about. i am tired of literally pissing away money.

July!

another month that looks like this:









my score is "Good"

i have had the same score for the last 3-4 months. also, i have only had one sad green dot for the last 3-4 months. i can't imagine how great it would feel to have 5 green dots on my chart. i can only hope that my score would say "Oh Hell Yes!"


so i am obviously not getting my hopes up for this month....if it doesn't happen i am going to really push for august. my goal will be to have at least 3 green dots....would that triple my chances to win?


we have more friends that just started trying this month. they got married the week after us. i am really excited for them...they are so lovely and great. i know they will most likely get pregnant right away....and i will feel slightly jealous and sad.....but at least i am getting used to these feelings.....so they don't sting as much anymore. i feel like i am coping much better lately. only took....um.....7 months. yeesh.


p.s. i am really happy we are onto the Springtime "hopeful expectant due dates"...this month would be March 24. I would love to have an April/May/June baby. I was not too keen on the idea of having a winter baby (of course i would have taken one anyway)....who wants to be stuck inside with a new infant? babies need fresh air.....air that isn't freezing.