Tuesday, July 28, 2009

i blame the heat for this meltdown

i am bored. BORED BORED BORED.

this cycle is DRAGGING.

is it really only cycle day 10? 10!!

i am going out of my mind.

i am not expecting much for this cycle....i have no idea if i will even ovulate or when. i just feel like my body could be out of whack from the miscarriage.....and the progesterone i was on. i should have asked the doc if the progesterone would affect my cycle. i just feel off. and impatient.

weird....doc called as i was typing that..... regarding all my blood work....and everything is normal. i have no issues. my thyroid is good....i have no clotting problems.....i am as healthy as a horse. a horse that has had 2 miscarriages for no reason other than bad luck. so.....whoohoo? i mean....whoohooo!! he does want me to take progesterone starting a week after i ovulate. and he did say this can lengthen my cycles.....so if i don't get pregnant i should expect longer cycles. ARG! perfect. more time to work on my patience.

this weekend will be fun....if it ever gets here. am i in a time warp? have i fallen into a black hole?

so last night.....we were doing it on the kitchen floor.....what? it was nice and cold on the tile! anyway.....was that an over-share? so....um...yeah...and my husband was like "is it that time yet".... which i thought was SO CUTE because he never has been remotely interested in timing all this stuff and i am so happy he is now. i said ....no.....later this week.....and not until then.....
(you know, for the boy stuff).....which has me a little freaked out....timing wise.....i mean the window is so small anyway!!! and now, with the boy stuff, i feel like it is even smaller!! plus the progesterone stuff from last cycle and now i don't even know it i will ovulate when i normally do!

i need a chill pill. not drinking during this part SUCKS. how does anyone deal with this type of stress soberly?

i might buy some ovulation prediction tests tomorrow. might help me feel better about this month and help pinpoint timing if my ovulation is off.


  1. I swore to myself that I was not going to buy any of those damned OPKs this month, because I have a big enough problem with my POAS addiction as it is...but I'm in the same boat here. I have no clue if, or when, I will ovulate, and it's driving me crazy. I know this SHOULD be the week, but will it be? Who knows. I told my hubby that I want to get an OPK and he said, "Why? We can just have sex every day, we'll catch it." If only I could be as calm as he is!

    PS the kitchen floor, huh? Might have to try that! (And this is Amanda from babycenter, if you didn't know.)

  2. hi Amanda! i know....i hate using OPK's....and we got pregnant last month without using them. but i am just feeling like i need a little reinforcement. i guess i lost confidence in my body and question if i am going to have a normal cycle. could all be in my head. but it might be nice to have something else to pinpoint timing...especially because we are trying for a boy and want to make sure we time it as close as possible to ovulation.

    how are you feeling? i think you are a couple cycle days ahead of me....

  3. Hopefully it works out for you and you get that positive -- they are so touchy that it gets frustrating!

    I'm on CD13 today and feeling...hopeful? I don't know. Some days I feel hopeful, others I feel like this cycle will just be a waste and we'll have to try again next month. Who knows!